Tammie Painter

ALLi Author Member

Location: United States of America (the)

Genres: Fantasy/SciFi/Speculative, Cosy Mystery, Short/Flash Fiction Collection, Humour

Many moons ago I was a scientist in a neuroscience lab where I got to play with brains and illegal drugs. Now, I take wickedly strong tea and turn it into comical fantasy whodunits full of mythical misfits and magical mishaps.

My tales run the gamut from the ever-expanding Cassie Black Trilogy with its wryly humorous paranormal mysteries to the cozy fantasy silliness in The Circus of Unusual Creatures; and from light-hearted novellas celebrating my love of books to short fiction in which I really flex my myth-loving and humor-craving muscles!

When I’m not creating worlds or killing off characters, I can be found gardening, planning my next travel adventure, concocting some sort of mess in the kitchen, or working as an unpaid servant to three cats and a guinea pig.

Tammie Painter's books

The Undead Mr Tenpenny (The Cassie Black Trilogy #1)

Cassie Black works at a funeral home. She's used to all manner of dead bodies. What she's not used to is them waking up. Which they seem to be doing on a disturbingly regular basis lately.

Just when Cassie believes she has the problem under control, the recently-deceased Busby Tenpenny insists he's been murdered and claims Cassie might be responsible thanks to a wicked brand of magic she's  been exposed to. The only way for Cassie to get her life back to normal is to tame her magic and uncover Mr. Tenpenny's true killer.

Simple right? Of course not. Because while Cassie works on getting her newly-acquired magic sorted, she's blowing up kitchens, angering an entire magical community, and discovering her past is more closely tied to Busby Tenpenny than she could have ever imagined.

If you like contemporary fantasy with snarky humor, unforgettable characters, a little paranormal mystery, and piles of pastries, you'll find it hard to pry yourself away from the Cassie Black Trilogy...a fish-out-of-water tale that takes you from the streets of Portland to the Tower of London.

The Uncanny Raven Winston (The Cassie Black Trilogy #2)

Ever have one of those weeks? You've taken an overdose of magic, you've just melted a twelve-year old girl, and Magic HQ has sent a letter "requesting" you come by to discuss your magic control issues.

No? Just me then?

I don't want to go. I've got a boss in a wheelchair (my fault), a zombie cat who demands his treats on schedule, and no interest in sorting out the quirks of another magical community.

But when someone slips me information tying my parents' disappearance to HQ, I can't pack my bags quickly enough.

I'm soon destroying historical displays, befriending befuddled ghosts, and focusing more on uncovering the truth about my past than on figuring out how to rein in my magic. Which, since HQ has a test for me that if I fail… Well, best not to think about that.

This second book of the Cassie Black Trilogy squeezes you through a magic portal, lodges you in a hidden corner of the Tower of London, and plunges you into a tale of mysterious mishaps, peculiar ravens, and bone-knitting trolls.

The Untangled Cassie Black (The Cassie Black Trilogy #3)

Sometimes taking an overdose of magic is the least of your worries.

Cassie Black has just lost two people through a magic portal. Her archenemy, the Mauvais, is threatening to destroy city after city if HQ doesn't hand her over to him. And HQ isn't exactly saying no to that offer.

As HQ debates Cassie's fate, Cassie refuses to sit by and watch the grass grow between the toes of the surveillance gnomes. Biting back her life rule to never get involved, she knows the only way to stop the Mauvais is to go after him herself.

Which is exactly what he wants. Because the instant Cassie falls into his hands, the Mauvais will gain the unlimited power he’s always craved.

So don't get captured, right? Easy for you to say. 

Trouble is, there's a traitor within HQ who's proving to be more devious, more powerful, and to have more tricks up the sleeve than anyone could have ever guessed.

In this page-turning conclusion of the Cassie Black Trilogy 1.0, the curses are flying, the pastries are plentiful, the bookworms are slithering, and the magical batteries are charged to capacity.

The Unusual Mayor Marheart (The Cassie Black Trilogy #4)

Cassie Black is back and she’s now heading up MagicLand’s newest detective agency!

Well, sort of…

Cassie Black may have just defeated an evil wizard, but that hasn’t stopped her from getting kicked out of the Academy’s detective training program. The upside is that it’s forced Cassie to start her own agency. The downside? A complete lack of clients.

Cassie thinks her career is on the upswing when Rosaria’s new mayor hires her to find a missing jewel. It’s a huge case that could turn the agency around. Trouble is, the jewel hasn’t been seen for well over 400 years. And Cassie suspects there’s more to the mayor’s sudden demands the jewel be found ASAP.

What’s more… something besides tea is brewing over at Magic HQ, but thanks to a little snag in magic bureaucracy, Cassie isn’t allowed to lend her skills to the problem. In fact, if she doesn’t sort out that bit of bureaucracy in the next few days, her sleuthing career will be over before it ever begins.

It all has Cassie looking wistfully back on the days when all she had to do was save the world.

If you like contemporary fantasy filled with wry humor, paranormal mystery, and diabolical office chairs, you’ll love the twists and turns of this start to an all-new trilogy featuring Cassie Black. 


Note: This is book four of the “hilarious” and highly recommended” Cassie Black Trilogy. Yes, “book four”, because trilogies refuse to be tamed! However, this is an entirely new trilogy (Trilogy 2.0), so if you'd like to jump into the series here, readers tell me that's completely doable without feeling too lost.

The Unbearable Inspector Oberlin

Book burning. 

Jewel stealing. 

Vampire hunting.

Not exactly what I expected from a day’s work as a detective, but at least things are no longer dull at the agency.

Although I don’t know how much longer the doors to that agency will be open, since the due date for getting my detective license just went whizzing by faster than a fairy on pixie dust.

But, after making good use of my groveling skills, HQ has given me an extension to solve a case and complete my application. Which would be great if the only clients I have weren’t dead clients, missing clients, and persnickety clients.

I’m also contending with a boyfriend who’s refusing to speak to me, there's a vampire uprising close on the horizon, and more Magics going missing by the day, including my own parents (yes, again).

But the worst problem in my life right now?

A bubbly new assistant, who not only believes we’re besties, but also thinks hugging is permitted.

Seriously, I’ll take a vampire uprising over that, any day.

If you like wryly humorous comic fantasy with a touch of paranormal mystery, magic gone awry, treasure-stealing ravens, and problematic trips to the British Library, you’ll love this fifth installment of the Cassie Black Trilogy.


Note – The Unbearable Inspector Oberlin continues the story begun in The Unusual Mayor Marheart. Now, if you want to take a stab at reading this without reading the previous book, well, you do you. But, if you want to understand what's going on, you should probably peruse The Unusual Mayor Marheart before diving into this book.

The Unreal Cassie Black Bundle (The Cassie Black Trilogy, Books 1 - 3)

“I just blew up something with magic!”
“That was NOT the point.”

***
Over 1000 pages of laugh-snort comic fantasy, unforgettable characters, and magic-filled mystery!

This collection includes the first three books from the Cassie Black Trilogy. Yes, the “first” three, because trilogies, like sourdough starters, refuse to be tamed.

So what’s inside?
* The Undead Mr Tenpenny - Cassie Black works at a funeral home. She's used to all manner of dead bodies. What she's not used to is them waking up. Which they seem to be doing on a disturbingly regular basis lately.

* The Uncanny Raven Winston - Ever have one of those weeks? You've taken an overdose of magic, you've just melted a twelve-year old girl, and Magic HQ has sent a letter "requesting" you come by to discuss your magic control issues. No? Just me then?

* The Untangled Cassie Black - Cassie Black has just lost two people through a magic portal. Her archenemy, the Mauvais, is threatening to destroy city after city if Magic HQ doesn't hand her over to him… And HQ isn't exactly saying no to that offer.

If you like contemporary fantasy filled with wry humor, paranormal mystery, piles of pastries, and TV-binging trolls, you'll find it hard to pry yourself away from the Cassie Black Trilogy.


The Cassie Black Trilogy is a fish-out-of-water tale that takes you from the streets of Portland to the Tower of London. It's got magic, mishaps, and mystery, pastries, ghosts, zombies, sentient gnomes and an evil wizard...because there's always an evil wizard, isn't there?

***
What readers have to say...

"Wow and wow again! I absolutely loved this book! You get such a feel for the characters and the story is so fast paced you don't want to put it down."

"More, please!"

"I was unable to put this down when I started reading it. The author combines humour with a fast paced murder mystery all packed into a funeral home."

"…suffused with dark humor and witty dialogue..."

"Cassie Black, won me over in the first book of this series, and she doesn’t disappoint in this one!!!"

***
These books are mostly clean, with very limited cursing and no hanky panky except for a couple of kisses here and there.

Beast or Famine (The Circus of Unusual Creatures #4)

A seaside eating contest.
A cheating, song-stealing, all-around-no-good ex.
And a chain-smoking unicorn doling out dating advice.
What could possibly go wrong?

It's time for the Seaside Family Fun Fair’s annual eating contests, and Zin's Circus of Unusual Creatures has been invited to perform as the feature act.

Right from the start, trouble is brewing. Trouble that, to everyone’s surprise, has (almost) nothing to do with Fergus now referring to himself as The Love Guru.

Besides foul moods over the weather, the decrepit state of the fun fair, and the sand wedging itself, well, everywhere, tempers truly flare when Molly’s ex-husband, Albert, shows up for the competition.

Albert has a bad track record. He’s cheated in a previous eating contest, he’s stolen Molly the Mini-taur’s songs, and he’s got an ogre-sized secret that could destroy the fun fair.

So, the moment the competition turns deadly, Duncan — dragon and amateur sleuth — has a long list of people who wouldn’t mind sending Albert six feet under.

Problem is, two of Duncan’s friends are the most likely suspects. Matters only get worse when Duncan discovers Zin has agreed to a partnership that's smellier than a sack of rotting fish heads.

And with Pepper so busy prepping food for the contest, she’s failed to keep up with Duncan’s omelet needs.

Seriously, no dragon should have to sleuth in these conditions.

Can Duncan find the killer before they strike again? Will Zin lose his circus to this partnership? What relationship disasters will Fergus cause? And what is up with those ogres?

Find out in Beast or Famine, the latest installment of The Circus of Unusual Creatures Mystery series.

~ ~ ~

Although it's the fourth book in the series, Beast or Famine is a great way to jump into Circus of Unusual Creatures Mysteries. 

If you like comic fantasy whodunnits that mix in laughs with murderous mayhem and mythical beasts, you’ll love, not only this silly story, but also the first three books in the series: Hoard It All Before, Tipping the Scales, and Fangs a Million.

Story Note: While this cozy fantasy mystery is mostly clean, it does have a lusty, chain-smoking unicorn who makes more than a few naughty innuendos, a dragon who drinks, a tiny bit of mild swearing, and (obviously) there’s a murder or two along the way.

Fangs a Million (The Circus of Unusual Creatures #3)

Hey everyone, Cordelia here.

Duncan (aka "Deadliest Dragon in the West") has finally finished typing up the third sleuthing adventure he got us tangled up in. It’s the one that involves booze smuggling, dragon matchmaking, too much lemonade, and a unicorn having a very bad hair day.

I’m not sure about Duncan calling it a "masterpiece of mystery,” but trust me, it's a good one. Especially when that unicorn has a wardrobe malfunction and Duncan becomes a victim of his own matchmaking.

Of course, things aren’t all fun and games at Zin’s Circus of Unusual; Creatures. There are murders to solve, a troubling police raid that could shut Zin’s down permanently, and some pesky trainees driving us all batty.

So, if you like comic fantasy mysteries like those by Wilkie Martin and C.K. McDonnell that mix in laughs with murderous mayhem and mythical beasts, I'm pretty sure you’ll love, not only this tale, but also the first two books in The Circus of Unusual Creatures series: Hoard It All Before and Tipping the Scales.

Now, while I go see what Pepper's cooking up in the Cantina, why not make a dragon's day by grabbing your own copy of Fangs a Million?

IT’S NOT EVERY DAY YOU MEET AN AMATEUR SLEUTH WITH FANGS.

“…a charming tale of dragons, deception, and dastardly deeds, and I loved every minute of it."

“…an excellent read…[a] hilarious series”

“Once I started reading it, I couldn’t put it down…it was that good!”

If you like fantastical mysteries that mix in laughs with murderous mayhem and mythical beasts, you’ll love the Circus of Unusual Creatures Mysteries.

Tipping the Scales (The Circus of Unusual Creatures #2)

Mix furious dwarves, spoiled iguanas, and a unicorn trying to steal the spotlight, and you've got the perfect recipe for deadly trouble.

Selected as one of Kobo's Books of the Month (July 2022)!!

"What a stunning sequel! This was a charming tale of dragons, deception, and dastardly deeds, and I loved every minute of it."

"The series keep getting better..."

"The book is an excellent read, very funny - I was kept on the edge of my seat not knowing what was going to happen next. Well worth reading and looking forward to the next installment in this hilarious series."


When his circus arrives in Salem, the satyr Zin has his hooves crossed that all will go off without a hitch. Finances are tight, but when the vivacious Ella Penn shows up looking for work, well, you can't say no to vivaciousness, can you?

Ella quickly raises the hackles of the Dumble Dwarves, the Flying Flynns, and even the peace-loving centaur Flora. So when Ella's pet iguana turns up dead, it's assumed the murder was an act of revenge.

Eager to try his claws at investigating again, Duncan, self-appointed detecting dragon, is on the case faster than you can say 'omelet'.

Trouble is, everyone has an alibi. Everyone, that is, except Ella's ex-boyfriend, who seems to have the perfect motive…a broken heart. And it isn't long after he arrives that the body count climbs and Duncan finds himself with more clues than he can handle.

In this second book of the humorous cozy fantasy series that combines mythical beasts with murderous mayhem, tempers are sizzling, the clues are confounding, and the twists have nothing do with the Flying Flynns' trapeze act.

Don't miss the show. Grab your front row seat for Tipping the Scales today.

IT’S NOT EVERY DAY YOU MEET AN AMATEUR SLEUTH WITH FANGS.

If you like comic fantasy whodunnits that combine murderous mayhem and mythical beasts, you’ll love this second installment of the Circus of Unusual Creatures Mysteries.

Hoard It All Before (The Circus of Unusual Creatures #1)

It's not every day you meet an amateur sleuth... with fangs.

If you like comic fantasy whodunnits that mix in laughs with murderous mayhem and mythical beasts, you’ll love this first installment in the Circus of Unusual Creatures series!

What readers are saying...

"Very funny and laughs out loud will be heard when reading it…this was so good l read it in one sitting couldn't put it down!"

"What a truly FUN, lighthearted read, full of fantastical and lovable characters!"

"What a fun circus-themed murder mystery! …I really think [Tammie] outdid herself with this book."

"I loved the humour… I loved the way the story was written. The characters are very believable, and the way the mystery unravels is very well crafted…"


Like any traveling circus, Zin’s has hair-raising acts and fried food on sticks. But it’s also got an aura-spotting centaur, a chain-smoking unicorn, and an omelet-addicted dragon. Oh, and a body in the center ring.

Duncan -- aka "Brutus Fangwrath, Deadliest Dragon in the West" -- wakes one morning to find his best friend isn’t just sleeping off a hangover. He’s been murdered.

Suspicion for the crime quickly turns to the circus’s new hire, Cordelia Quinn. After all, she’s got motive, she's got means, and she’s got loads of circumstantial evidence stacked against her.

When it looks like no one else is going to step in to help Cordelia, it’s up to Duncan to ponder the puzzling clues, prove Cordelia’s innocence, and pry open a troubling secret along the way.

As soon as he’s done with his omelet, that is.

Set in a 1930s that’s just a tad different than what you’re used to, Hoard it all Before is the start of a delightfully humorous mystery series with plenty of tantalizing twists, a troupe of quirky characters, and death-defying feats both in and beyond the big top.

Hoard It All Before is the first in the Circus of Unusual Creatures mysteries. Other titles include…

2. Tipping the Scales
3. Fangs A Million
4. Beast or Famine (which is another great place to jump into the series)

Note: While this cozy mystery is mostly clean, it does have a lusty, chain-smoking unicorn who makes more than a few naughty innuendos, a dragon that drinks heavily, a tiny bit of swearing, and (obviously) there’s a murder along the way.

The Unwanted Inheritance of the Bookman Brothers

All wills contain surprises. This one especially so.

Reggie and Enton Bookman have just inherited their grandfather's bookshop. The place is profitable, well-loved by the community, and situated in a lively shopping district.

But the Bookman brothers want nothing to do with it. After all, who in the world would want to waste their time around books when they could sell the place, pocket a few million, and experience VIP airport lounges and first-class flights?

With such a hot property, selling it should be easy, right?

Not when every scheme the brothers come up with to rid themselves of the shop hits obstacle after obstacle. 

And the more time Enton spends in the shop, the more he starts to believe it's not just bad luck thwarting their efforts.

If you believe in the magic of books and enjoy a dash of humor with your magical realism, you'll love the exploits of the Bookman brothers.

The Great Escape - 15 Tales of Humor, Myth & Magic

Peculiar pet shops
Troublesome dream homes
And robot vacuums that just want to be free

Looking for a captivating (and quick) escape from reality? These fifteen tales of myth, magic, and whimsy provide just that.

Amongst the award-winning words are stories of vacations gone enchantingly wrong, questionable business practices, worrying parental habits, misbehaving reptiles, and Norse gods in a bit of a bind.

This second short story collection by Tammie Painter (author of the humor-filled Cassie Black Trilogy and The Circus of Unusual Creatures Mysteries) begins with a brief introduction telling how these stories led to the creation of those fan favorite series. The author then launches each tale with a few words to share the twists and turns of inspiration.

The fifteen stories range from beguiling magical realism to laugh-out-loud silliness to dark (but not too dark) fantasy.

Some stories have a little violence (nothing gruesome) and mild cursing, but no "on-screen" hanky panky (a giant does have some off-screen fun, but I’ll leave you to discover that one).

The stories include….

The Great Escape 
Grave Bargains 
Buttercup: Queen of Death 
The Drive-Thru Window 
Testing the Waters 
The Back Room 
The Liar of Lilløya 
Space Walk 
Moonlight Cruise 
The Ghost of Arlen Hall 
A Case of Mamma’s Love 
Dragon Trouble 
The Secret Eater 
A Feast for Sight 
Champ 
 

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